Woman vs The Public Restroom

I just had to share this email with all of you! But since I no longer have anyone's email address due to a Windows Live Mail malfunction, I decided to post it on the blog!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn'tmatter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it onthe FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance."To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry papertowel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately!

Happy 4 th of July

A few pics from Allen High School's Class of 2008!

They made it! (Man, Jordan's tall!)

Christian at his happiest moment!

Now we can all take a break until Sarah's graduation in 2013!!

Wish her luck!!

Sarah is really excited to audition for an upcoming kids show. As most of you know, she's pretty much an extrovert and is always happiest in the limelight! She heard about the auditions and immediately grabbed the phone, dialed the number and handed it over begging me to sign her up. I did. Tomorrow we'll drive into Dallas for a 2:30 audition. If things go well, she'll be invited back for a 2nd one. If not....we'll chalk it up to a neat experience. Jeni took these pics of Sarah for us to take. Isn't she pretty?!
Oh, I didn't forget to blog about Austin graduating....I'm just waiting on the pics to post! Thanks to all of you who suffered through the 2 1/2 hour graduation ceremony especially since the majority of you could have left after "H"!!! We love you. Congratulations, Austin and Jordan! Pics coming soon.

No Matter Where He Is.....

Austin had his senior pics taken a few days ago by Jeni :) and this was one that I thought spoke to all parents of teenagers! I think I may have to follow him around with a camera and catch some other random times/places that he texts. I'm thinking that maybe if I texted him I'd learn a lot more about him than what I know now! Jeni took a lot of great pics of Austin...now we just have to choose which one to put in the graduation announcements! How about a vote? I'll put a few of my favorites on the blog and you let me know which one you like the best.

Picture #1Picture #2

Picture #3

Birthdays, birthdays, & more birthdays!

April seems to be the happenin' month for our family (and the Hopewell's and the Bjorn's!). Austin turned the big 18 on the 20th, Bruce turns a bigger number tomorrow and Craig will be 22 on Monday! Wow...I have three adult children...isn't that wild?! So let's see....three birthdays in my family and a wedding anniversary; a birthday for L. Bruce on Tuesday; a birthday and an anniversary for Jessica & Svend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY/ANNIVERSARY TO ALL OF YOU!

Exciting news for the calendar: Austin will graduate on June 3 @ 7pm @ the University of North Texas in Denton Super Pit Coliseum. WOW!

Presenting Mr. & Mrs. Craig Tyler!

My heart is full!

Craig took out his own endowment today. Just saying the words brings me to tears of gratitude and joy. When he finally entered the Celestial room, I couldn't keep the tears at bay. They just flowed! I am grateful to the Lord for answering our prayers.

He especially answered them today as we seemed to literally be in a fight with the adversary to get to the temple. Here's a list of a few of the things he threw in our path: no power due to Tornados during the night, Craig's clothes were in the washer (again a no power situation); we went over to Grandma's to get ready and Craig brought the wrong shirt - it was Austin's that required cuff links!) remember how I remedied that at Austin's homecoming...well paper brads work wonders!; an accident on 635 caused us to have to reroute to get around it; Darlene (Katie's mom) forgot her temple recommend IN JAPAN!; Roxi & Grandma got there at 5 minutes to session time....believe it or not we all kept a smile on our faces and got through it. Then, as soon as we got out of the temple, we got a frantic phone message from Ashley that her delayed plane in Idaho caused her to miss her connection to Dallas in Salt Lake. The closest they could get her to Dallas today was to fly her into Austin. She's still not here. My friend, Sylvia, went to pick her up and they'll be pulling back into town around 2am! She missed the Horlacher/Tyler dinner tonight, but at least she'll be here before the wedding.

In spite of that, I find myself in awe at how much we've been blessed. I know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and answers them. I know he doesn't always let things work out the way we think they should and yet He knows what we can handle and what will help us grow spiritually. I think we have to take a step back sometimes and recognize the hand of the Lord in our lives and also recognize the influence that Satan can have on us if we let our guard down. I'm so grateful to have been in the temple with my son today. I'm thrilled that tomorrow he's going to be sealed to Katie. It's all so overwhelming and wonderful!!